Proverbs of a repubate mind revisited

I am not who you think I am,
I am not who I pretend to be
I am not who I believe I am,
I am not my reflection.
I am an amorphous sac
attached by a cord of breath,
sating the libidos
of passerbyes.
Inhale, exhale,
ingest me,
until I am used up.
What’s your fancy?
I am a liar, a cheat, and a devourer of idylls,
a raper of innocence spewing profane guile,
I am your disparate tones of infidelity,
your irreconcilable lies justified in truths.
Drink of me,
but do so in secret;
the best indulgences are always in secret.
Hide me away in your heart
wear not my scent on your skin
lest my name linger on your breath
and all will know of your indiscretion.


All my desires, my contents, my visions are as fleeting as the winter wind, one step ahead but ever embracing. It is like I strive for failure. I win at failure, mediocre at best. I am drowning with my eyes above water level. I can see and feel everything coming to fruition but I just can’t quite get there. I build my empire with fallible mortar, who am I to judge, I have no foundation. A king of nothing, desolate, emptiness, I reign supreme. When is it my time? The list has to be complete, who will attend, where will it be, too many loose ends to tie, the time isn’t right now. I am so afraid of who I have become, it is almost as if I have become what I despise. I don’t even know who I am or where I stand. I see shame in my reflection, I see disappointment, I see a façade, but I don’t see me. Somehwhere beneath all that refuse must lie a person, a person who thinks and feels, has an identity, has a focus, has a goal. Where are you, where have you been and why have you let this man’s life get so cluttered and confused? Its your turn to clean up the sully mess, this has gone on for way too long, you are delinquent in every sense of the word. But as you fade into the background, beneath the shadows, redemption comes, staring at you in the mirror.